Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Love is not abuse, Abuse is not Love!

Love is not abuse and abuse is not love.. what do you all understand about that??..confuse..?..

Lets discuss about this matter...and from what i'm going to say below, u can actually compared on what is love and what is Abuse..Below are the characteristic of Healthy and Abusive Relationship.

DECISION MAKING
As we all know, that couple make decision together or in other word, "Joint Decision Making".In addition, Couples was suppose to share their responsibilities(the ups and down in life) coz that was they meant to be...To think that, y do people get married? I suppose it ring a bell in you right....(^_^).

Compare to this situation, One of the partner dominate everything include the decision making. Basically the Abuser decides in which it shows that only one sided decision making. To be exact, everything must be follow by his/ her own rule, the other did not get a chance to decide.

ECONOMIC EQUALITY
In healthy relationship, both partner have freedom to decide in issues of work, school and money or any other things you all prefer.They are free to find what job they like, spent their money as they like, etc. As for Abusive relationship, one of the partner deny job freedom. In other words, boyfriend/girlfriend did not want their partner to work in this some particular organization. adding up, their money also been control by the partner.

EMOTIONAL HONESTY
In healthy relationship, the partners feel safe to admit and share fears/ insecurities together. Oppositely, the boyfriend/ girlfriend manipulate the emotion. What I mean by this is, in use of jealousy, passion, stress and frustration to justify actions. commonly happen around us, one of the partner got carried away. They are not in the mood, but their partner get scolded or get a silent treatment from them..how unfair right...hehe tho sometime i did that to my Love one..(^_^)

RESPECT
In healthy relationship, partners Accept that “no” means no. In addition, couples also Respect right to differing feelings, friends and activities; also support their partner's goal or objective.

But abusive relationship, intimidate. Force partner to do things against her/his will. Can say that They are charming in Public, but menacing in private. When they are stress or what, they destroy property or hit their pets. In other words, they make light of abuse and they are just to sensitive.

PHYSICAL SAFETY
A good relationship, the partners respect partner’s physical space and also express their self non- violently.

But in abusive relationship, one of the partner abuse their mate physically for example, Hit, choke, kick, pinch,pull hair, poke, twist arms, trip, bite, restrain,use weapons, ETC.

SUPPORT and TRUST
A good relationship, the partners listen and understand carefully and both of them value their partner's opinion. Different from abusive relationship, the boyfriend/ girlfriend control their partners. They isolate their partners from his/ her family or something like mind games..(^_^)


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